Life is like a roll of toilet paper

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end it gets, the faster it disappears and the more precious it becomes.

In the old days we locked mentally challenged folks up in institutions. These days we prescribe Prozac and sell them handguns. Seems maybe we should be somewhere in the middle of that particular continuum, do it not?

Religion is a lot like underdrawers. You assume the next guy has it, but you don’t especially want to hear the details.

Cosmetic surgery, hair regrowth medicine and new clothes may slow the signs of aging in men to a degree, but nothing works like a big, fat bank account. Right ladies?

The organizers of the local Family Health Fair are concerned that attendance will be slim unless the volunteers sell plenty of hot dogs, buttered popcorn and sody pop.

Hey, teenagers: The reality of being an adult is that you don’t live any better than you did at home, but now you get to pay for it.

Of all the great periods ini history, the greatest is obviously the present, since we all happen to be living in it.

The longest measure of time is the “kalpa” in Hindu chronology, and is equivalent to 4,320 million years. Now, I know that the reason God invented time is so everything wouldn’t happen at once, but this does seem to be stretching it a bit.

While I was tying my shoes, my wife asked where I was going. “I’m leaving you for another woman,” I replied. Her reply? “Don’t forget to take out the garbage.” Humph! I guess the thrill is gone.

And speaking of leaving…

That’s probably gonna be enough for this time around. Come back soon.And in the meantime, if you or anyone you know have any interest in a very lucrative home based business, get information here. If you want to know more about me and how I help folks with their online business, click here.

Wishing you success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

Its name is Shineola

One of the “problems” with today’s society, is that; (no one) knows how, to punctuate correctly, anymore?

Why is it that no matter where I park, the lines have been painted crooked?

A new restaurant has opened in our town. Its name is Shineola. Maybe now folks will be able to tell the difference.

In the South, “number of Baptists per square mile” is considered a valid census statistic.

WWW: World Wide Wait

Grits, fried okra, biscuits, pecan pie (pronounced ‘Pah”) : who says there’s no Heaven on earth!

If life were perfect we’d all be bored silly.

When does hunting season open for mince? (From which mince meat pah is made…get it?)

How is it that I can hang something unattended in my closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes?

Sign in a rest stop in Florida: “Orange Juice 25 cents per glass, three for a dollar.” HUH?

Why is it that when you can finally afford the books you’ve been wishing for, you don’t have time to read them?

Speaking of which, there’s a new book out: “My Mother’s Sister – An Aunthology”

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir crvinpl.

What’s big and yellow and sleeps four? A DOT truck.

That’s probably gonna be enough for this time around. Come back soon.And in the meantime, if you or anyone you know have any interest in a very lucrative home based business, get information here. If you want to know more about me and how I help folks with their online business, click here.

Wishing you success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

Was today really necessary?

Can people who live on house boats get flood insurance?

Was today really necessary?

Yesterday was the last day of the first part of your life.

F u cn rd this, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmng.

One of our neighbors admitted that he cut his ear while shaving. The weird part is he was shaving his legs.

Yes, it’s true that the early bird gets the worm, but it’s also true that the second rat gets the cheese.

Seems there is no word in the English language that cannot be verbed.

Living in Atlanta, I just don’t get Yankees sometimes. Had one ask yesterday, “What are turnip grains and how do you cook them?” Heck, I thought everybody knew they go with grain banes, roastin airs, hayam and cornbread.

Ladies, here’s something guys don’t understand: If someone says your make-up looks terrific, is that a compliment or an insult?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Talk about being Southern…I was 12 years old before I knew grits and eggs were two separate words – “gritsnegs”

As you make your way through this hectic life, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you’ll have a couple of days saved up.

That’s probably gonna be enough for this time around. Come back soon.

And in the meantime, if you or anyone you know have any interest in a very lucrative home based business, get information here. If you want to know more about me and how I help folks with their online business, click here.

Wishing you success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

Never use the leaf blower in the house

How can cemeteries raise their prices “due to the high cost of living”?

When decanting an especially fine wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to “bruise” the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, especially in public, always hold it so your fingers cover the label.

My wife left instructions to get rid of the dust in the house. I tried using the leaf blower. Busted all her doodads.

Heard about a guy who has been diagnosed as paranoid with low self esteem. Seems nobody important has been after him.

My goal is to live forever. So far, so good.

Mahatma Gandhi never wore anything on his feet, and he ate so little that he developed delicate health and bad breath. The result was a super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. (Say it out loud)

Overheard in the restroom of a local restaurant: “I really hate these electric hand dryers. It’s hard to blow your nose on them, and when you do, it looks just awful.”

That’s probably gonna be enough for this time around. Come back soon.

And in the meantime, if you or anyone you know have any interest in a very lucrative home based business, get information here. If you want to know more about me and how I help folks with their online business, click here.

Wishing you success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

No problem in Jamaica, mon

My wife and I have been celebrating our 25th anniversary in Jamaica, mon! Never been there before, but we’re already planning to go back.

If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands?

How do folks with all those body piercings get past the metal detectors at the airport? Especially when they have studs in places that aren’t easily examined? And do people who have a pierced lower lip leak when they drink?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Do something really stupid and they just stare, point and laugh.

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do the people who make salad shooters do the other 11 months of the year?

What’s with this new hairstyle with people wearing their hair combed over one eye? If they don’t want that eye to be seen, why don’t they just wear one of those pirate eye patches on a string?

Sign above the scale in the doctor’s office: “Pretend it’s your IQ.” Sadist.

A friend gave his not-too-bright relative a toilet brush for Christmas. This is February. I saw the relative a couple of days ago and asked how he liked it. Said it gave him a rash and he went back to strikin’ paper.

That’s probably gonna be enough for this time around. Come back soon.

And in the meantime, if you or anyone you know have any interest in a very lucrative home based business, get information here. If you want to know more about me and how I help folks with their online business, click here.

Wishing you success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

Bobbing for water…

When starting or working your own passive income internet marketing business, the fear of scams, rip-offs and other potential pitfalls is a very real, justifiable fear. You really have to be on the lookout for the plethora of scamsters, liars and thieves that stalk the Internet with the intention of taking your money and disappearing.

I have scoured the Internet, checking out mentors and mentoring teams that say they will help newbies succeed. After all the research and interviews, my statistics keep bringing me back to Mentors4U.

People who have found success marketing online tend to brag on that success. But it seems pretty obvious that how much money someone else earned doesn’t do much for the potential newcomer. The real question is, “What are you going to do to help me accomplish that?”

One of the things I have noticed about Mentors4U is that while most of the members of the team are earning really good money online, that isn’t their primary focus. Rather, they focus on a plan of action that allows others to succeed. And they don’t just allow others to succeed – they do everything they can to truly help new team members be successful, in Passport To Wealth and in the other online marketing programs that prove to meet their extremely high demands. They give free mentoring to team members on how to employ search engine optimization marketing to create a strong passive income.

Exercise caution when planning your internet marketing strategy. Knowing what to do can change your life. So can not knowing what to do.

Anything that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense is something that rates right up there with bobbing for water.

The absolutely happiest some folks can get is happy as two (not just one, but two) dead pigs in the sunshine.

Is fixin’ to do something about the same as haulin’ off, gettin’ ready to start to begin to commence?

Why is it you always find whatever it is you’re looking for in the last place you look?

Has anyone ever heard of a bar complaining about a church opening too close to them?

And she said, “If you don’t like my cooking, lower your standards.”

Hukt on fonix wurked four mih.

Could the evolutionists have it backwards? Look around at the way things are going. Maybe monkeys came from people.

I received a natural gas bill that is due on February 30. Does that mean I don’t have to pay it?

Granny thought she had cataracts until someone cleaned her glasses for her.

Never, never drop your keys when you’re going through a revolving door with other people behind you.

Check out my blog at moneymentor.wordpress.com for quick-to-read daily inspirational vignettes.

To learn more about Mentors4U and Passport To Wealth, click here.

To learn more about me and how I can help you with your online marketing business, click here.

To your success in life and in business.

Kirby Webb aka kirbywebb

 

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!